I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.

It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.

Its better to know some of the questions, than all of the answers.

Her own mother lived the latter years of her life in the horrible suspicion that electricity was dripping invisibly all over the house.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

Early to rise and early to bed Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home.

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.

I loathe the expression "What makes him tick." It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm.